My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
