You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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