i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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