THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
