Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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