I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
tell me about the eggs
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