I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Watching her eat just hurts me
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
