your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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