i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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