do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We need to rekindle our bromance
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
