Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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