Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
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Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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