Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
