I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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