I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
