would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
