I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
