Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
