Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
