I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
