pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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