Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
