Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
