I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
