I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
