I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
