A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
my poor anus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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