Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Damn victory sex feels great
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
