ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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