just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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