Christians are straight up FREAKS
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Randomize
