and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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