Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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