boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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