sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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