2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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