'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
