Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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