apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
