Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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