I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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