At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
His hands were made for my vagina.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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