your thong is hanging out like whoa
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
