I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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