i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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