Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
