you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
