If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
