i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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