those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
