Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
