When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
