I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
