did you get engaged???
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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