you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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