I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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