We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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