The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
