She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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