I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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