i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
