dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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