your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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