He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
