let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
