Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
