also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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