billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
